My Sober Curiosity

50 was a great year - it was full of vacations, parties, food, wine and late nights. I partied like I was 20 and felt about 100 at the end of the year. Do I regret any of it - NO - do I wish I did more of it completely sober - YES!

Fast forward to December 2019. A parent that required our full attention…throw in Christmas, and a blow up with a family member made for a bad way to end what was about to become the crappiest year ever! I needed a change...I needed a way to "deal" that didn't include saying "I need a drink" - it was going to be a long year ahead and I needed a healthier way to that didn't add fuel to the fire and create more stress, depression and anxiety.

I had been following Danielle (@helloclarityvibe) for some time at this point on Instagram - she wrote about her year without alcohol, and the ups and downs she encountered along the way. Our stories had so many similar parallels - it was very relatable. Neither of us would be considered alcoholics, but there were “grey areas”….no “rock bottom” but times that we drank more than we should have, said something we shouldn’t have and lost a couple of hours here and there.

Through her posts and then googling #sobercurious and #greyareadrinking I realized that now was the time - it was time to take a break from the glamourized world of Chardonnay.

Every photo of me seems to have a glass in hand!

I used to drink wine as a TREAT!
Then I had kids and I drank wine as a REWARD!
….then I noticed it was no longer a reward it was a HABIT!
A habit that was making me tired, unhealthy, moody and just not happy with the way I looked or felt.

Now the morning before my 51st birthday - I realized ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH! I wanted the “monkey off my back” I didn’t want to hear myself say again “I can’t wait for a glass of wine”, or “wine improves with age and I improve with wine” - because I didn’t improve with wine - no one does, that is just great marketing designed specifically towards women! Women are told, have a glass of wine, you will be more fun, have more fun and your life will be more fun. ITS ALL A LIE which I fell for hook line and sinker.

Everyone I know has said at one time or another,  I am just going to drink on the weekends….well maybe holidays….maybe Wednesdays when we go out for dinner…also when my mother-in-law visits : ) I didn’t want to play that game anymore.

So January 2 was day one; I read books, followed like people on instagram, loaded up on soda water and food : )

I let some friends and family know. Some people reacted with shameful comments, which I know is more about their relationship with drinking then mine…
  • You won’t be fun anymore (that one was from my dad! need I say more)
  • You are going to become “one of those”
  • Can’t you just have one?
  • Why are you doing that?
  • You have a problem - I don’t, I know when to stop!

By the third week I was over my FOMO (fear of missing out), because I wasn’t missing anything…except being tired, groggy, and moody....

The only thing the same in these photos is the outfit...foggy on the left, always worrying what people think, anxious - the right, super alert - energized and no longer giving a s&%$ what people think : )

I was waking up earlier, starting to workout….and then COVID HIT! Seriously, what timing - but the more I thought of it the happier I was with my decision as I saw post after post about “wine all day”, “zoom wine meetings”. Had I still been drinking during COVID that would have been me…starting at noon right there with them.

By the end of March I noticed a general hapiness (which was odd considering we were now in a full pandemic : ) my skin clearing, and weight coming off…it made me feel even better about my decision to be AF (alcohol free)...a few great side effects

With the extra time I had (yes drinking wastes a lot of time) and the fact that restaurants were now closed, I started cooking more - planning, prepping and enjoying my food more..I tasted it more. Without getting into details you taste, smell and FEEL so much more without alcohol…just sayin : )

Now we are in May, I am walking an hour a day, and love it….the fresh air helped clear my head during the stressful time of Covid and helped me get my steps in and get healthier and healthier. I didn't feel or look inflammed anymore.

"Alcohol is an inflammatory substance, meaning it tends to cause swelling in the body. This inflammation may be made much worse by the things often mixed with alcohol, such as sugary and carbonated liquids, which can result in gas, discomfort, and more bloating."

So thank you to everyone that noticed the change in my physical appearance - I have always eaten well and worked out but nothing would happen - I never felt better, I always felt BLAH. I was getting older making it so much harder too. Since I quit booze its been much easier to maintain my weight without being on a diet - WHICH DOESN’T WORK…trust me I have tried all of them.

Just think how much more good food you can eat if you quit drinking!
My estimate.
  • 3 bottles of wine a week on average was what I would drink.
  • 700 calories on average per bottle
  • 2100 calories a week
  • 8400 calories a month
  • 2.5 lbs a month
  • 30lbs a year!

Don’t worry I won’t become “one of those” reformed non-drinkers but you will see a lot of recipes, workouts, and me raising a glass of water instead of wine. I will keep you posted on my progress...and feel free to message me if you have any questions or comment below. Would love to hear your thoughts on the whole topic.

Wine is poison - no amount is “healthy” for you. The articles that say 1 glass of wine a day is good for your health is probably written by the Liquor companies.

Read this article - NO LEVEL OF ALCOHOL is safe or healthy!
Stop clinging to the crazy concept that the Heart and Stroke Society puts out that 2-3 drinks daily is a safe amount - ARE YOU KIDDING ME! First of all I didn't drink that much every day and if I did.....I probably would have already had a stroke!

If you are Sober Curious and thinking about making your life easier by kicking wine to the curb, I strongly suggest reading Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker

The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol

USA TODAY BESTSELLER • The founder of a female-focused recovery program offers a radical new path to sobriety.

“You don’t know how much you need this book, or maybe you do. Either way, it will save your life.”—Melissa Hartwig Urban, Whole30 co-founder and CEO

We live in a world obsessed with drinking. We drink at baby showers and work events, brunch and book club, graduations and funerals. Yet no one ever questions alcohol’s ubiquity—in fact, the only thing ever questioned is why someone doesn’t drink. It is a qualifier for belonging and if you don’t imbibe, you are considered an anomaly. As a society, we are obsessed with health and wellness, yet we uphold alcohol as some kind of magic elixir, though it is anything but.

When Holly Whitaker decided to seek help after one too many benders, she embarked on a journey that led not only to her own sobriety, but revealed the insidious role alcohol plays in our society and in the lives of women in particular. What’s more, she could not ignore the ways that alcohol companies were targeting women, just as the tobacco industry had successfully done generations before.


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