By: Milissa Harding
Is it easier for you to say YES to the needs of others than it is to say YES to yourself? Do you often find yourself making excuses for why you can’t do something that would be so, so beneficial for you?
I think we’ve all been trained in some way to deny our own needs and to keep plowing forward in order to achieve certain goals and/or expectations. Perhaps you have been taught that others’ needs are more important than your own, or that it is selfish to put yourself first. This way of thinking unfortunately, doesn’t serve anyone. When you aren’t meeting your own needs (whether that be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual), you really aren’t able to meet the needs of others, at least not from an authentic place. When you are overwhelmed, stressed and feeling depleted, that “low energy” gets passed on through your work and your interactions with others. I believe that people can even pick up on this energy (even if they aren’t in your physical presence), and when it comes to building your business, this is definitely not what you want.
What are some ways in which you say “No” to yourself? Do you:
*Make excuses as to why you can’t exercise?
*Find reasons for not attending that networking group?
*Deny yourself rewards for accomplishing your goals?
*Choose not to have coffee or lunch with a friend because you’re simply “too busy”?
When we say YES to ourselves, we’re sending our brains a message that we are important, and that we deserve to enjoy, pamper and take care of ourselves. You don’t need to go on an all-exclusive luxurious vacation in order to do this (although that would be nice!). It’s the little ways in which you honor, recognize and validate yourself that makes you feel wonderful and adds that magical energy to your work and your connections with others.
What are some ways in which you can say “Yes” to yourself? Can you:
*Agree to take 15 minute breaks throughout the day (stretch, make a cup of tea)?
*Close up your office a little earlier today?
*Treat yourself to a scrumptious lunch?
*Allow yourself to be fully present at that next meeting or event without thinking of all the things that you need to do?
Your Homework Assignment:
This week, I’d like you to identify one way in which you have been saying NO to yourself. How does it feel when you do this? What could be the long-term effects of continuing to say NO to yourself in this way? Then, I’d like to you to consider how you can turn that NO into a YES. What would that look like?