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Losing the Guilt
T’was the season to be merry….OR t’was it the season to feel guilty?
For many, the holidays crank up the intensity level on all sorts of emotions…joy, gratitude, anger, sadness, grief and YES, guilt!
How many of you this past holiday season, followed your “should” voice rather than your “want” voice? Any of these sound familiar?
“I should write so-and-so a Xmas card, even though I don’t really like them” or “Better get my neighbour a gift since they got us one last year” or how about
“It’s our turn to host the big family dinner because it’s tradition” …
What we forget is that when guilt drives our actions, we just end up feeling icky and that ickiness is the manifestation of what it feels like when we dishonour what WE want.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we need to be completely self-centred to honour our wants. Rather, what’s important is WHERE our actions come from – from a place of loving and serving those we care about OR from a place of guilt and driven by how we’ll be perceived?
So, as you look at your New Year resolutions this year, consider adding ‘Lose the Guilt” to your list. Try these simple ways to clear out that icky guilty feeling, once and for all.
- Work towards a bigger list of “wants” on your to-do lists than “shoulds”. Start by putting a “w” or an “s” next to all the items on your to-do list. What do you see? For all the ones marked with an “s”, apply for my FOUR D’s rule – Do, Delegate, Delay or Dump. I guarantee you’ll feel lighter after shifting around your to-do list.
- Create a shield to protect you from those “guilt-laden” voices. You know who they are – girlfriends, hubbie, mother? (I bet it’s one of them ) Imagine if you could block their opinions out before you make a decision. What would you do differently if you allowed your own voice to get louder, bigger, stronger? And follow the guidance of THAT voice!
- Step into the guilt and do it anyway! Plan that evening out with your friends and don’t baby your hubbie while he’s home with your babies. He’s a big boy, really! Yes, you’ll feel guilty as they’re screaming “mommy!” when you try to leave your front door – keep walking my friend! Practicing anything is hard at first so keep walking.
- And remember, the more you take care of yourself, the more you have to give. Lose the guilt…it serves no purpose. Embrace a phenomenal 2010 and step up into a more joyful, honoured self this year. You’ll be so happy you did!
Grace Yvonne Attard is owner of enSpire Coaching Inc. and e-Spot™, organizations that help grow entrepreneurs and grow businesses. Grace is a well-recognized community leader in the Greater Toronto Area and Halton Region and is a sought-out speaker, business coach, author and facilitator. See www.enspirecoaching.com and www.e-spot.ca for more details.
